One-way. THE BEGINNING pt.1

24 hours ago at the time of writing this, I said ‘goodbye for now’ to everything that is familiar and took the biggest leap yet into the complete unplanned unknown. Bali, Indonesia, the beginning of my one-way ticket adventure..

As this is the first blog entry on my new site, let’s add some context, rewind to 2019. I was 21, heartbroken from my parents’ divorce, running, rebelling, and determined to find myself.

What was meant to be a six-week solo trip to Nepal and India became two weeks trekking the Himalayas, with a man who became my partner for the next 5 years. After he returned to Australia, I continued alone in India for one month, and the travel bug cracked me wide open. Together we built a life — moving from Sydney to Byron Bay, buying a house, starting over. I began my Master of Gestalt Psychotherapy and started my own inner therapy journey alongside my studies.

2019 - 21 year old me, Varanasi India.

Fast forward to 2023: my second trip to India. One month together, two months set aside for me alone. But Mumma India hit me hard. Sickness and challenge wore me down, and I came home a month early. My codependency was at an all-time high, my nervous system overwhelmed. I felt like I had failed and gave in to my fear.

Back home, I kept growing through my psychotherapy studies while we shaped a beautiful life; him, me, and my Kelpie, Arlo. Marriage was a conversation we often mentioned. Yet four years in, I remember thinking, “If he proposes, I don’t think I can say yes and mean it.” The knowing made my gut drop and anxiety clench my throat. I needed the relationship more than I wanted it. I felt I needed learn how to be alone, I needed more solo travel to see what’s out there, and the thought terrified me.

Eventually, my courage outgrew my fear. I could no longer ignore the shrunken version of myself I was living. After a four-hour conversation filled with tears, hugs, and mutual understanding, we let each other go in such unconditional love. It took a long period of no-contact, lots of space, and healing but we now share a light, loving and genuine friendship which is a beautiful side note I wish to add in here - it’s possible!

The summer following our breakup was the greatest summer of my life…

When that one relationship closed, my world was flooded with the most beautiful people i’ve ever met. They became my adopted family. The music community in Byron was ALIVE! at the time, I was jamming and playing gigs all the time and dancing in a summer of play! It was exactly what I needed and wanted.

It was then I met someone who would become my best friend and, despite my resistance, the one I loved. He cracked my heart wide open, teaching me what it meant to live with an unbound heart and surrender to love. After a transcendental experience together, I painted what would become the logo of Unbound Heart Studio, now on the homepage.

Still, I wavered. I knew what I had sacrificed for my dream of a one-way ticket and deepening my relationship with myself, and I still had six months left of my Masters. My heart pulled me toward him while my mind said, He’s five years younger, you want to travel, what the fuck are you doing?! I oscillated between opening to love and retreating into fear.

After a season of being on-and-off, and giving myself space to heal, I finally chose. To deny a love this present and strong felt impossible. What I needed was not to hold back, but to promise myself: 2025 will be my year to travel. With that commitment, my heart could open fully. Together we agreed to love as fully as possible, for as long as we have before I go.

Fast forward to now…

It has been 10 months since I graduated my Masters, and almost 3 months since I decided it was go time for a one-way ticket and the end of the relationship container that was. My heart feels valiant, strong, yet tender and so full of love, grief, a pride for how deeply we stepped in without a promise of the future.

Have you ever felt so incredibly comfortable and okay.., good even, and yet your heart longs for more? KNOWS that there is something greater than you know right now beckoning you? This leap is equally terrifying as it is exploding with passion and joy and that’s exactly how I know I am in the right place. Under the pisces full lunar eclipse, I flew and began the journey.

To be continued…

This is where I thought this entry was ending last night… until something beautiful occurred this morning that was perfectly aligned with what I wrote just last night.

I had just finished a morning flow and was on the phone to a friend, who I shared my fear of running out of money and repeating the same sense of ‘failure’ that happened in India 2023. I shared that I feel like I am showing myself I am bigger than my own fear and that I have outgrown that version of myself. I opened my bank account to find an unexpected sum of money sitting pretty. I then looked down and the silver anklet that I have purchased in Pushka, India 2023 and worn ever since was broken off. I cried on the phone to my friend, it felt as though the universe was speaking saying … that version of you is done, old chains broken, you are now walking freely, anew. We can choose any meaning, and while this could just be some money and a broken anklet, the timing is uncanny and to me it feels like a direct confirmation and dialogue with the universe.

PS. This dog then tried to hump me and it’s Wednesday so ..Happy hump day!

xo Gracie

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.